walk into any starbucks and say “i can’t believe they’re doing a secret screening of the unreleased Wes Anderson movie down the street” then collect all the macbooks that everyone who just ran out left behind. keep your favorite one and sell any you don’t need
BREAKING: Protests continue after a week hiatus in Ferguson. Live updates are returning.
*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*
Let me tell you something about Kanye West. We were best friends in middle school. I know right. It’s SO embarrassing. I don’t even… whatever. So then in 8th grade, I started hanging out with the Kardashians who were totally gorgeous and then they moved to New York, and Kanye was like, weirdly jealous of them. Like, if I would blow him off to blog with Kim & Kylie, he’d be like, ”Why don’t you want to hang out with me? My life is dope!” And I’d be like “Why do you compare yourself to Jesus and hang out with Jay-Z beyond a comfortable amount?” So then for my birthday party, which was an all-reality-stars pool party, I was like “Ye, I can’t invite you because you’re not on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, you won’t even let North on.” I mean, I couldn’t have a person with a private life at my party. There were going to be Bling Ring members there, I mean, right? He’s KANYE WEST. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of the music industry because no one would talk to him, and came back in the spring to make that Bound2 music video, all of his hair was cut off and it was totally weird. And now I guess he’s trying to make another baby with Kim.